how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
