Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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