Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
