I want to make a zoo with you.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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