weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
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