god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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