so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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