This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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