The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
