you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
