Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
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