We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
