you would pick up someone in the library
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
