I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
