Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You can't special order awesome
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
