it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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