Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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