just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
