Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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