just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
