I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
