At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
