Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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