It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He? As in you personified your dick?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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