After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
