May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
