Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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