Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
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