The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
