In the future we'll all be gay
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
PANTIES FOUND
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