we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I want her autograph on my taint
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize