Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
