is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
