Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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