last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
