well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
