doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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