so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
