all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
