We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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