This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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