I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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