genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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