You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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