Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
