Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
