Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
