Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
