So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
