dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
