just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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