so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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