You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
